thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
