hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
