I am spending my child support on dildos
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
