i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
