After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
