You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
