bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
