I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize