11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
