So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
