Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she looked like the before picture.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
