so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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