did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
