if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
