I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
