Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
