Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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