i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
