The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
