she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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