I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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