plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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