The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
