operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
