You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
