The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
