She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
