my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
