I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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