guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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