that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
