I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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