Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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