Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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