i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I need a beard to bite.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize