id be glad to
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
