He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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