is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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