So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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