that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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