The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
