Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Drunk is not a location!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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