found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
