Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize