So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
