my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize