The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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