So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize