I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
