i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
