on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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