a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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