2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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