I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
