Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
