He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
