"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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