If i could tip my vagina, i would.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize