Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I had to cum in my sink.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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