It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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