Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
