**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
we're so committed to being not committed
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
