ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
