I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
