yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
