Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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