i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
