11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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