No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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