I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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