Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
