508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
