i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
