Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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