his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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