The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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