i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize