i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
