I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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