I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
