So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
