Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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